Plans, Plans, Plans
by Hyperteenager24
Summary: The road to seducing Jesse and Tulip was long… but Cassidy wasn't going to give up.


Proinsias Cassidy was good at a lot of things (he had over one hundred years of experience after all), but he was especially good at always knowing what he wanted and nine times out of ten, getting it.

It wasn't a surprise that he grew to love Jesse and Tulip as package deal, rather than as individuals, and with these thoughts, came the belief that it would be easy to persuade them to let him take part in that package deal every now and then.

One Friday, when they were squatting in an abandoned home, Cassidy causally mentioned that he was an accomplished cook, remarking that he cooked a mean steak…. Maybe Jesse and Tulip would like to try it sometime?

Jesse smirked in amusement, cocking his head to one side, "What d'ya want Cass?"

"I am shocked and offended you'd t'ink I was bribin' ye! Can't I do somet'in' nice for me friends?"

Despite Jesse's suspicions, Tulip eagerly agreed (with the reassurance that Cassidy knew how to cook meat other than rare) and Cassidy's plan was put into action.

The following night, after buying the best cuts of meat from the local butchers, Cassidy got to work, allowing Tulip to sit on the other counter as he chattered eagerly about the two years he'd spent with an old New York broad, who ran a barbecue restaurant and taught him everything that he knew, letting him work in the kitchen for a decent pay, and didn't bat an eyelid at him drinking the blood left over from the meat.

Of course, and then the hunters came, and he had to leave without saying goodbye… just in case she became a target.

"You do that a lot?" Tulip asked, a frown on her face, "Leave without sayin' goodbye?"

"….. When I have to." Cassidy glanced over at the woman, taking note of the displeased look on her face, "Hunters and all t'at…. Need to keep moving sometimes to keep 'em off me back."

When they finally sat down to eat, everything was perfect, and even Jesse seemed to enjoy himself.

"That's it…" Tulip burped, not even bothering to be 'lady-like' about it, "…. Cass's cookin' from now on. I give up on bein' a chef."

Silently, both Jesse and Cassidy thanked God (wherever he was) for that…. Tulip was passable as a cook, but nine times out of ten, it was a challenge to eat her food.

"Warms me heart to hear ya say t'at luv!"

Step one was complete.

….

The second step was to help Jesse.

When Tulip and Jesse were away, he turned his attention to the internet, desperately searching for any sign of God…. Sightings…. Miracles…. A looney who claimed to be blessed by the Lord himself…. Anything!

"Dammit!" he hissed, angrily stabbing at the keys, "You'd t'ink the man who flooded an entire planet when he got pissed, would be a bit more obvious to find!"

"Cass?"

Cassidy yelped, spinning around and glaring at Jesse as the preacher smirked at him, "I'mma get you a damn bell!"

The smirk turned into a beam at this and Jesse moved a little closer, peering over Cass's shoulder at the online news clipping (GOD SEEN ON PEPPERONI PIZZA), "Ah, I remember readin' that…" he mentioned matter-of-factly, "… nonsense, right?"

"Yeah…. Fuckin' bullshit."

Jesse seemed to notice his slight disappointment, reaching over and patting him on the shoulder. "Don't worry, we'll find him soon."

Yeah…. Because that was the problem.

…

Most nights, nobody cooked. Instead, they stopped near the nearest diner or take-away store.

Tonight, Jesse fancied Thai, grabbing the food and bringing it back to the motel… and then the argument started.

"I need to have some fun in my life Jesse!" Tulip was protesting, poking at the preacher with her foot as the man tried to do some more research on God's whereabouts, "One club Jesse! A little bit of dancin' and- "

"- We don't have time for that! We need to find God and- "

"- I'll go out wi' ye luv." Cassidy quickly interrupted, trying to stop the fight before it could escalate, "I could do wit' a bit of dancin'"

Tulip gave him a thankful smile, winking at him over Jesse's head. "I've seen yer dancin' Cass…" she teased, "… gettin' into a bar fight would be safer!"

"T'at hurts luv… t'at really hurts."

"Hmmmm…" she smirked at him, winking as he cleared his throat nervously, "… and what if I fancy a bit of a tango?"

That… that sounded like flirting.

He wasn't going to turn down the opportunity though.

Swiftly moving into a standing position, he held out a hand to her. "May I have this dance?"

"You hopeless romantic." She rolled her eyes, amusement clear in her voice, even as she allowed him to pull her to her feet.

For a woman so dangerous, her hands were so small.

Cassidy deliberately didn't look at Jesse as Tulip placed her hand on his shoulder, allowing him to lead her around the small motel room, her hips pressing up against him as her toes traced figure eights on the floor behind her.

"Come on Cassie…" she muttered, smirking at his wide eyes, "… show me what you've got."

"If the lady insists," he whispered back, dipping her low before pulling her back up, smiling as she cackled in delight, winking at him.

It was then that he realised that the look on her face wasn't flirtatious… it looked more like she was up to something.

"Alright, alright!"

They both turned to Jesse, who looked amused by the whole sight (rather than angry, which was what Cassidy was expecting).

"We can all go dancing…. But only for one night, okay?"

"Yeah, yeah, yeah." Tulip squeezed Cassidy's hand gratefully and mouthed a quick 'thanks' at him. He gave her a little shrug that made it seem like it wasn't a big deal.

Except it was…. He could still feel her body against his.

…..

A week later, Jesse was in a bad mood again… they'd been happening more and more frequently since they went on this little crusade.

He was on his fourth glass of whiskey and it was only ten in the morning.

"Jesse…." Cassidy nervously tapped him on the shoulder, "…. You okay?"

"No…" the preacher growled, "…. We're running out of money faster than we can earn it. We can barely afford food half the time, and stealing all the time is just going to get us into trouble."

"So, we can break into my bank account if needed?"

"…. Pardon?"

Cassidy shrugged, "Well, I set one up when I could…. A little bit of ID fraud and that's that. Probably have quite a bit in there now."

"You'd… you'd be willing to do that for us?"

"You're me friends… why wouldn't I help you?"

There was a brief moment of silence, before Jesse nodded gratefully. "I owe you one Cass."

"Nah, consider it a gift."

…

"I don't get what I did wrong luv? What did I do?"

"It's not like that Cass but… ye just keep makin' things difficult!"

"T-Tulip, I- "

"- we know ye don' mean to be difficult. You've got good intentions and all that."

"Yeah! Yeah! The best!"

"I know, and I'm sorry… but ye need to stop Cassie… you need to stop."

"Okay… I-I'll stop."

"Thank you."

As the call ended, it took all of Cassidy's self-control not to throw it across the room.

It was over… they weren't interested in him, and he would just have to live with that.

…

The next week was how it usually was.

Jesse never hinted that he knew about Tulip's phone call to Cassidy, and the vampire never brought it up in conversation.

They all bickered and bantered as they normally would.

One week stretched into two, and the phone call was never brought up again…. although Cassidy never stopped thinking about it.

Eventually, he couldn't remain silent any longer.

Sneaking out of the motel room one night for a few bottles of liquid courage, he knocked on their door.

When Tulip opened it, her eyes widened as her mouth gaped open in surprise.

"Tulip? Who's at the door?"

"Just me Padre!" Cassidy called back before Tulip could say anything, "Just me."

There were footsteps, before Jesse emerged from around the corner, dressed only in a t-shirt and boxers.

If Cass still had a heartbeat, it'd be fluttering by now.

Instead, he spread his hands to show that he wasn't hiding anything, "Like I said, just me padre…" He took a deep breath, "… Just wanted to say… that I'm in love wit' ye… both of ye. And I hate to admit it, but I've been pissing me-self t'at ye might not feel the same way…. But here I am… bein' honest and all."

There was a brief moment of silence, before a big grin appeared on Jesse's face, as he nudged Tulip in the side. "Told ya he'd get it eventually."

Tulip rolled her eyes, "Piss off, it's not like we didn't have a bet!"

Usually, Cassidy would join in with the teasing and banter… but this really wasn't the time. "Ummm, what t'e fuck are ye talkin' about?"

The pair fell silent, both turning to him. Jesse held out his hand and Tulip took him by the wrist and tugged him into the room, "I think we need to have a little chat."


End file.
